Bookmarks – July – Freedom from Fear

Freedom from Fear

Who am I? Who do I want to be?

Those questions popped into my head as I was preparing to chair my home group’s meeting on Step Seven: “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”

We use the Reaching for Personal Freedom (P-92) workbook at our monthly Step/Traditions meetings. I find that the workbook questions ask me to look within myself, to basically confront myself, and if I am honest, to shine a hard overhead light on my behaviors.

I have learned through Al-Anon that fear rides under my need to control and the illusion of power that it may give me. Naked, dumb fear. Fear of failure—that I won’t live up to the crazy, impossible expectations I give myself. That fear perched in my psyche long ago, when I thought I had to do it—whatever “it” was—all by myself. It was the price of being “independent.”

Various fears motivated me before I came to believe in the power of prayer, and that the God of my understanding always has my back. Working my program, one day at a time, has rewarded me with a greater depth of trust in my Higher Power. I am not alone. Ever. I can give whatever is too much for me over to my Higher Power. And I do, gladly!

Relying on my Higher Power has the paradoxical effect of liberating me to be myself. So instead of being my own worst enemy, I am on the road to becoming my own best friend.   

Whew! What  a welcome change!

Thanks for letting me share!